Deirdre O’Kane, a comedian hailing from Drogheda, has a well-known motto: God bless the work. She’s currently touring with her latest stand-up act, “O’Kaning It,” a performance scheduled to run until 2025, comprising 43 shows. Alongside her flourishing career in comedy, O’Kane wears many hats comprising acting, podcasting, television hosting, and voiceover work. Regardless, she never takes anything for granted. Following our luncheon, she safely stows the remnants of her San Pellegrino in her KeepCup as she finds it is too pricey to squander.
We are currently dining at Il Caffe di Napoli, located on Westland Row in Dublin, splitting a Margherita pizza. Her black jumper and dark tresses emanate a certain edgy, rocker vibe. Two pairs of glasses sit atop her head, with that signature knowing smile of Deirdre O’Kane adorning her face. She narrates the story of her very first job: a minor role in Borstal Boy at the Gaiety Theatre in 1989. During that period, she was wrapping up an evening course at the then-budding Gaiety School of Acting, where she had been recommended for a minor part. Meanwhile, she was studying at the College of Marketing and Design, yearning to leave it all behind. But Joe Dowling, the founder of the Gaiety School and director of Borstal Boy, had different plans.
Dowling didn’t choose her for the part which nearly caused her to have a breakdown. In her desperation, she ran towards his office stairs and voiced her disbelief that she wasn’t selected.
Her humour stems from whatever phase of life she’s in, mostly drawn from her kids’ curious questions, such as ‘How did you meet?’
Dowling explained to her that he didn’t want her to abandon her college education.
In her frustration, she exclaimed that she needed a valid reason to leave college to present to her parents. She clearly expressed her disinterest in marketing, even doubting her ability to spell the word. Following a year in college without any intention of sitting for exams, in which she spent most of her time chain-smoking in the canteen, she finally kick-started her career.
She pursued her acting passion for many years after. With a friend, she staged a play at The International Bar which resulted in positive reviews and an audition invitation from the esteemed Druid theatre company. Subsequently, she toured globally for two years playing Miss Funny in Vincent Woods’s ‘At the Black Pig’s Dyke.’
“I was so inexperienced at the time that I thought all jobs would be similar to this, however, that ended up being my only international tour,” she admitted with a chuckle.
O’Kane’s acting accomplishments were desirable to many; she portrayed Debra Moone in Chris O’Dowd’s TV sitcom, ‘Moone Boy’, and Noelene in the 2003 film ‘Intermission’. She also delivered notable performances at the Abby and the Gate among other stages. An IFTA award-winning performance came in 2014 when she represented children’s right advocate, Christina Noble in the film ‘Noble’, directed by her husband, Stephen Bradley.
However, as she further delved into her acting career, she realised the harsh reality – there’s an inadequate amount of work. “It’s that straightforward,” she added.
Understanding the industry from various perspectives is something O’Kane is familiar with, having been married to Bradley, a film director, for nearly a quarter of a century. The couple share two children, Holly (19) and Daniel (15). They first crossed paths in the early 90s when Bradley, producer Ed Guiney, and actor Paul Hickey, moved in beside O’Kane in The Liberties, Dublin.
“I knew Paul given that he was an actor as well,” mentions O’Kane. “I needed help in moving a bed and they happened to have a van. I asked Paul if he could help me move the bed and he showed up with Stephen. That’s how we met.”
Bradley was the unintentional catalyst for O’Kane’s entry into comedy. He was creating a documentary on Kilkenny’s Cat Laughs festival and O’Kane, who was between acting roles, accompanied him to Kilkenny. Seeing the performers on stage, she had an enlightening “eureka moment.”
“She had never experienced live comedy before,” she shares. “I was utterly captivated by it. It exceeded my expectations. It had me spellbound. I was amazed at the amount of control they had, being all alone up there, and still managing to make the crowd crack up.”
Among the comedians, Anthony Clark stood out for her. “His performance really resonated with me, so I saw him again and then once more. I noticed he didn’t change a single word in his routine. That’s when it clicked. I realised that this wasn’t just spontaneous, it was carefully scripted and then executed.”
While en route home, O’Kane started penning down her own jokes. “The first one I came up with involved the inevitability of one of us ending up in comedy because for years, my mum had said the whole town was laughing at us. That’s one that sticks with me,” she says. She mentions that the first jokes usually revolve around family anecdotes.
In her latest show, O’Kaning It, the theme of family isn’t far away. She delves into enduring relationships, bringing up teenagers and her own teenage years studying at Loreto High School Beaufort.
She admits, “I can only write about whatever phase of life I’m currently going through. It often involves recounting past stories when my children ask questions like ‘how did you guys meet?’”.
She conveys that her recent work pushes the envelope more than before. “It’s significantly more edgy than my former material. This direction intrigued me. It’s possibly my age and the fact that I’m not scared to make my audience squirm.”
“And now, comedy is filled with so much female talent. It wasn’t so when I started out a decade ago. I wasn’t even aware then how that was holding me back.”
“She profusely affirms the path to her current perspective was gruelling, you might be tempted to keep audiences content, but she’s far past this now. The discussion around the Magdalene laundries is a pressing matter that requires attention. Despite its solemn tone, she believes her humourous approach can contribute positively and open up conversations.
To refer to her journey as “tough” would be to belittle the hardships she faced. Enquire from any humorist, regardless of gender, in this nation, they will confidently attest that O’Kane’s endeavours were groundbreaking. She spearheaded a successful career in stand-up comedy as a female during an era where such a feat was either alien or outright lampooned.
Reliving her early days, she shares that her introduction to the stage often came with sighs of disapproval. She was often met with scepticism about her capabilities due to her gender. Thus, she had no cushion for mistakes. From her first word, she had to be exceptional. Although this pressure refined her skills, the journey was nonetheless challenging. She couldn’t rely on crude humour, neither could she use indecent language freely as others did. There were limitations to her speech, societal discomfort made certain topics taboo. During this time, women comedians were unfairly labelled as non-amusing.
However, she promptly inquires if the circumstance has improved.
In her opinion, the current era is the ideal time to be a woman. She’s acutely mindful of this fact and extends her hearty gratitude. If you are a female anticipating a plunge into the world of stand-up comedy, now would be the perfect time. Unlike before, you won’t be alone. For ten years, she was solitary, now she recognises that her isolation slowed her eventual progress. Regardless, she pressed on.
Back in the mid-2000s, O’Kane settled temporarily in London to start her family. She hit the pause button on her comedy career to raise her children and concentrate on other aspects of her life.”
She reflects on the reasons behind her hiatus from the comedy scene, admitting that being a female in a largely male-dominated industry played a factor. Although she never openly addressed this, it was more than just motherhood that led to her abandoning the stage. This marking of a ten-year break in her comedy career meant she essentially had to rebuild her career from the ground up.
Despite having a dedicated group of fans, pulling herself up the comedy ladder, as she describes it, was challenging.
The comedian’s life took a turn when she met comic Emma Doran during one of her comeback shows in Ireland, where O’Kane had returned to. Despite not forming an immediate bond, their paths crossed multiple times professionally. O’Kane, impressed by Doran’s digital content, proposed a collaboration on a podcast project. Thus began ‘Keep it Tight’, a weekly discussion platform for topics that amuse, baffle, or irritate them. The title is a nod to the frequent advice of keeping comedy shows precise and succinct.
O’Kane appreciates the 15-year age gap between her and Doran, believing disparate generational gaps make a significant contribution. Their mutual amusement and diverse backgrounds make them compatible collaborators.
The recurring theme of age and femininity is prevalent both in their podcasts and O’Kane’s overall work. Now 56 years old, she expresses her curiosity about the importance placed on a woman’s age, asserting that male ages are not as heavily scrutinised.
O’Kane is intrigued by the societal pressure on women and the impact it has on their self-perception. She is particularly focused on the topic of menopause, which she notes has only entered the conversation recently, after years of being considered taboo. Her interest extends to the positive facets of ageing as well.
Currently, I’m feeling better than I ever have, possibly because one of my children is in university and the other, even at 15, is pretty self-sufficient. I have reclaimed my life and am ready for a second shot as I took a decade-long hiatus . I feel blessed and couldn’t be more grateful that I have embarked on this journey again. Now, I’ve got more vitality than I had a decade ago when my children were very young. I am no longer exhausted all the time. I can dedicate myself to my work, which I find extremely fulfilling. I can travel without worrying about whether someone is managing dinner at home.
O’Kane hasn’t just limited herself to acting, podcasting and paving the way for women in stand-up comedy. This multi-talented lady finished as a finalist on Dancing with the Stars Ireland, hosted her own programs on RTE and Sky, and is also the voice for Gogglebox Ireland. However, her work extending towards humanitarian causes is what truly stands out. O’Kane is a co-founder of Comic Relief in Ireland. An important part of her journey took her to Gaza four years ago.
The purpose of the visit was to witness the impact of the funds donated by Comic Relief. A generous donation of £250,000 had been made to Trócaire that was directed towards helping malnourished children in Gaza. The region was already torn apart by conflict, even before the current horrific war. The United Nations had predicted that by 2020 the region would be unlivable. The infrastructure was crumbling and clean water had become a luxury. Hence, the current circumstance is simply beyond comprehension.
Being privy to such realities can be challenging, but O’Kane considers herself to be sturdy. This trait probably stems from being boarding school alumna and belonging to a lineage of strong individuals.
Upon entering Gaza, she recollects feeling like she was entering Guantánamo Bay. It was a disturbing atmosphere, as nobody could come in or go out. O’Kane was briefed about things she should avoid speaking about. She visited a refugee camp and met children who were beneficiaries of the organisation’s contribution. The simplicity and generosity of the people, despite their own hardships, touched her deeply.
“She’s arranging a fundraising event on Vicar Street next week, with all donations going to Gaza. “I’ve organised quite a few fundraisers before”, she confesses. “I make a point to contribute, but I also feel quite helpless. Countless individuals are doing whatever they can, protesting loudly, and partaking in marches. It’s heartbreaking to see how much our global leaders are letting us down.”
She pulls her sleeve back to reveal a dove tattoo she had done during a business trip to Singapore not too long ago. “A pharmacist that I met during my visit to Gaza, along with his three children, were killed. I had this tattoo done in memory of them” – her voice breaks off as she struggles to control her emotions.
She shares, “People see me as tough”, her voice quivers as she tries to rein in her tears. “Yet I am not the only one suffering. I’ve witnessed grown men crying in pubs. The pain that we collectively feel is overwhelming, although it isn’t personal. I always wonder why we aren’t more vocal about it. Nevertheless, the thing I can do—and what I’m most proud of—is starting Comic Relief. I believe this will continue to be my focus for the rest of my life.”
Attempts are made to shift the topic of conversation towards lighter matters. O’Kane discloses her return to acting, currently involved in a feature film her spouse is shooting, titled Fran the Man. The story revolves around a football game-fixing scandal. “I portray travel agent Dympna Greene, who is intimately involved in the plot,” she adds.
However, her heart is truly set on stand-up comedy. “The art form never ceases to amaze me. The psychological rollercoaster is intriguing; one moment you’re up with a successful show, the next down after a not-so-successful one. Each show brings a unique energy,” she reflects.
When asked about her preparation method, she opens up about usually experiencing a lull in her energy in the afternoons.
“It has been a gradual realisation over the years that my body was actually saving energy for my 75-minute stage performance”, she shares. During this time, she meditates, allowing herself to centre and calm down.
“Before I proceed with the show, I need to engage in some self-talk,” she reveals, “I need to prepare myself to form a deep, instinctive connection with the room. There’s a risk, if you don’t put much thought into it, of being out of sync with the room’s energy.”
O’Kane admits that adjusting to discomfort among the audience is a new experience with the fresh show. “This gives me immense admiration for those who’ve tread this path before, managing it impressively. Though it’s challenging, it’s still rewarding. I believe in going all out if you decide to do it.”
Deirdre O’Kane collaborates with Benecol in their campaign, ‘That Caring Friend’, aiming to advocate happier, healthier hearts. To know more about it, visit Benecol’s Instagram account @benecol_ie. To check Deirdre O’Kane’s live date schedules, go to deirdreokane.net. Don’t miss Irish Comics for Palestine occurring at Vicar Street, Dublin, on the 6th of May.